Dear Monday,

 Dear Monday,

Why aren't I here?

Or at least here?

You suck, Monday.

Sincerely,

B

Dear man in a jumpsuit,

Dear man in a jumpsuit,

You're so manly. With your beard and big hair and safari-style onesie.

I would like to meet you some time. I suspect you have amazing chat-up lines.

Sincerely,

B

;-)

Dear Jane,

Dear Jane,

Thou art a gleeking folly-fallen pignut.

Sincerely,

B

Dear fellow driver,

Dear fellow driver who is going at 45km/hr in a 60 zone,

You have no right to that 'I (heart) jet packs' sticker.

Sincerely,

Birgit

Dear Oscars coverage,

Dear Harpers Bazaar and Vogue Australia Oscar coverage on twitter,

Love it. Keep up the good work. You made my Monday much easier to deal with.

Regards,

B

P.S. My favourite dresses would have totally clashed if they’d been in a photo together.

See what I mean?

P.P.S. And then there was Meryl Streep who wore gold, won gold and then hugged a huge golden statue. I wish I was that cool.

Dear Harry Potter

Dear Harry Potter,

I'm only on page 13 of the 5th volume of your selective biography and already you are pissing me off.

Please stop being an annoying tosser and help me to enjoy the book in a way I failed to the first time around.

Regards,
B

Dear cyclist

Dear cyclist,

The City Council have marked out your own special lane at great expense. Please do not randomly swerve out of it. You are just asking to be run over.

From, driving B.