As
I have previously mentioned, I have never read any of the Twilight
series. Instead, I have read the entire list of Mark Reads blog posts from when he read the books. They are hilarious! And hateful.
He loathes the books, as do most other readers and reviewers, with
the obvious exception of teenage girls with strange ideas about
sexuality and what is acceptable behaviour in a 'loving'
relationship.
Putting my judgemental hat on; everything I know
about this series leads me to think it is tragic and truly awful and
a terrible book for young women to be reading.
However, for
some ill-judged reasons I decided a little while ago that while I
will never read the books, I will try to watch the movies. I think I
felt I was missing out on a significant if unfortunate piece of pop
culture. Like if I'd never seen the Old Spice ad, read Harry Potter
or watched Star Wars (none of which are unfortunate but all of which
are vital artefacts of our modern culture).
So on Friday
night I armed myself with a bottle of plonk red and an empty house
and I sat down to watch 'Twilight'. I also decided to text Jane
throughout the evening and perhaps even send out some tweets. Because
there is nothing like Twitter for over-sharing.
Here is a selection of texts and tweets I sent out that night:
Here is a selection of texts and tweets I sent out that night:
Half a
bottle (of wine) down, about to start watching and already regretting
this. I hate the menu music!!!
This
movie is creepy and suspiciously green-tinted already.
#Twilightwhiledrunk
Second
bottle opened for second half of the movie. How can this be a kid's
film, it's so bad on the liver!?!
Bella
Swan; least interesting character ever devised? Yes. Fact.
#Twilightwhiledrunk
Wow.
What genuinely tragic special effects. This movie was made in the 80s
right? The Princess Bride is more realistic. #Twilightwhiledrunk
Tom Cruise as the Vampire Lestat was scarier and more intimidating than this bunch of sparkling butterflies. #Twilightwhiledrunk
Tom Cruise as the Vampire Lestat was scarier and more intimidating than this bunch of sparkling butterflies. #Twilightwhiledrunk
I think watching this film without reading the book is like doing the same thing with Harry Potter; you miss all the subtext. Except in this case, there is no subtext.
2
hours of my life I'm never getting back. I am now going to drink the
rest of this bottle of wine so my evening wasn't a complete waste of
time.
So now
the big question; do I keep going and watch the next one? While
drunk, obviously.
Haha no. There's a reason why I always watch them on DVD - the movies are so bad. I luckily read the books first because my boss forced them upon me. The books are definitely better than the movies.
ReplyDeleteSee, I've had people say the movies are 'better' because they're over much quicker than the books. All down to personal taste as always.
ReplyDeleteThe movie was absolutely shocking!