Tuesday, 18 September 2012

Miss or Ms?


Men don’t realise how easy they have it in the name department. You’re given one name and unless you get a swanky qualification or change your name by deed poll, you die with that name. 

Even without taking into considerations the possibility of becoming a Dr. or an Emer. Prof., there are times in a woman’s life when she has to make name-changing decisions, the big one of course being when she gets married. 

I have no such conundrum at the moment, however, the question I’m dealing with is this; am I a Miss or a Ms?

There comes a time in a non-married girl’s life when she somehow clicks over from a Miss to a Ms. There are professional considerations; something about the title ‘Miss’ is very girly and young and not really appropriate for a CEO. Women who marry but keep their maiden names often use Ms because Miss is firmly single whereas Ms is ambiguous. I know some 85-year-old ‘Miss’s’ and they are very firmly ‘Miss’. Never been married and the convention is not married = Miss. 

Whenever I join a mailing list or fill out a form and it comes to title, I don’t know what to put. To be honest, at the moment I don’t care. I use both titles, sprinkled across my official paper work.  For me it’s the age issue. Sometime around 30 you’re magically transformed into a Ms. Perhaps because people now longer sure of your partnership status, or calling you Miss sounds silly, I don’t know. I don’t care. But I’m interested to find out – are there any other 20-something women who are finding themselves drifting into 'Ms' territory without knowing why?

Marriage aside, when do you stop being a Miss and become a Ms?

5 comments:

  1. Thank goodness for the extra years of study to get that Dr... I prefer not to use the title outside of work but if I have to chose something it avoids the Ms/ Miss decision :-)

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    1. I know someone who uses Dr - they're a PHD Dr, not medical Dr - in a professional context just to avoid this issue. Unfortunately not quite enough of a reason to do a PHD...

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  3. I think I decided on Ms. around the age of 23. I suddenly didn't like letters being address to me as Miss, maybe it was something to do with the fact that I'd had a partner for several years by then but maybe it was to do with age. It did make me sound younger than I was. It's the same with work titles. I didn't like being called assistant by a certain age :p.

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    1. Assistant, unless it has 'Executive' in front of it, can be difficult.

      But yes, I think it was somewhere around 22 / 23 you start feeling Ms. I generally use Ms now, though it makes me feel older than I am. Miss makes me feel younger, Ms makes me feel older. There's no way out!!

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